I love my life! Was blessed by #Amma this weekend and decided to live more truthfully….. Including expressing my feelings and my truth. My feelings were hurt for a number of reasons this past week….. Found out an acupuncturist told my #bipolar2 diagnosis to at least one person…. And that someone who I disclosed my need for some boundaries, even when doing healing work said “well what is she here for then?”I am here to heal myself first, otherwise I’m no use. It hurt that I had to explain that it was my first event with them, but that I’ve worked 17 #monumentquilt displays, sometimes with hundreds of people, that I take personal responsibility for cleansing ALL 600 plus stories and working with the people,that I smudged police, law enforcement and others from about a dozen agencies during#baltimoreuprising, attuned 18 people, traveled to dozens of states, started a line of body butters, you get the point……
Apparently I talk money too much. I had to point out the lack of “feedback” for the person charging hundreds for what I do on a sliding scale ( might be changing that soon)…
When I reflected I realized that these issues came up because this journey is about me recognizing my worth. I am worth it. I don’t owe anybody anything. Nobody owes me anything. It is also about being humbled, because as a former student told me, I’m not the only Reiki Master in town.#lessonlearmed
I hurt a student’s feelings last week- all the way power tripped. They know my truth. But they told me they thought I was better than they at managing my emotions. Maybe that’s why she kept saying it didn’t matter when I tried to express my triggers, multiple deaths, including a former student shot in the head… I apologized but she made choices anyway. All good. God bless.
I was encouraged to stop running from my triggers and embrace them. So here it is. I feel the need to serve. I’m good at it, when I get out of my way. And I need breaks, to rest recharge and heal. Maybe one day I will be at enlightened as #Amma and just keep going. Until then, I’m teaching this month, but when it comes to giving #Reiki, I’m on #break all June.
It feels good to have taken off my mask.
Photo credit: Alexander Dobson